I’m Successful, but I Secretly Want to Be Taken Care Of

Some independent, successful, smart women feel something is missing in their lives. No matter how many degrees they have, or how much money they make, there is still a little girl inside wanting someone else to provide for them. They want someone to fill that emptiness inside. If you are one of these intelligent, successful and driven women, this is NOT something you want to admit. It feels weak and shameful. Some of this is biological: men are providers. But is that the whole story?

For women who have made it on their own, there is still an insecurity about maintaining success, and feeling like they don’t deserve the success they achieved. Some fear failure or being found out as a phony. So… having a man to fall back on sure would feel more secure, right? Believing we are limited in what we can have, yet lacking in some way if we don’t achieve it, is toxic. Listen to this episode where I talk about the paradox of success and the desire to be taken care of. Why does it still exist, and how can we address it in an honest, empowering way?

WAKEUP STATEMENT (#wakeupstatement)
Waiting for someone else to provide for you can result in a life of walking on eggshells, rather than seeing opportunity outside the illusion.

Asking for Help Doesn’t Make You a Damsel in Distress

Help can be hard to ask for, especially for women. You don’t want to give your power away or appear weak, so you go the other direction and take on way too much. You overcompensate and make sure there is no room for someone else to step in. You create challenges, look busy, break your back—except no one really notices you’re doing it, so you just exhaust yourself. Maybe you feel shame for what you don’t know or what you don’t understand, and having someone explain it would reveal you’re fallible; something you desperately need to keep hidden. But going it alone isolates you from others, which isn’t a good thing when you’re trying to get ahead.

So what’s the alternative? How do you ask for help without appearing like a damsel in distress? That’s what we will explore in this episode. We’ll also look at some of the barriers women face in asking for help and why we feel this way. As with so many challenges we encounter, a lot of it comes down to value and self-worth. If you are confident in who you are and what you bring to the table, asking for help won’t feel like a knock on your abilities. You’ll see it for what it truly is: an act of courage.

WAKEUP STATEMENT (#wakeupstatement)
You can do it alone with the weight of the world, or you can be courageous, be you and engage the village.

Women Are the Future; If We Would Just Get Out of Our Own Way

100 years after women won the right to vote in the U.S., we are still behind much of the world. In the political sphere and elsewhere, we hold ourselves back and dim our light. But why? Is it due to lower levels of encouragement from others? Demanding household obligations? Self-doubt? Waiting for permission? All of these play a role in taking the backseat, along with our judgment of other women. We tend to measure them as brutally as we measure ourselves (which is pretty harsh—am I right?). When we hold ourselves and others to such high standards, it makes it harder to support women in positions of power.

For women to be the future, we need to look at our own lives. Do you treat yourself fairly and have empathy for your mistakes? Do you seek validation from others or give it to yourself? In this episode, we will look at how to stop hindering our progress. Self-doubt is huge for women, but we can work through it by acknowledging its existence and choosing to say “yes” anyway. It is our beliefs and perception, not reality, that holds us back… which means we have the power to change things.

Wakeup Statement (#wakeupstatement)
Whether you are a leader right now or not, where is the ceiling for you? Blast off baby—it’s time to shatter it!

The Voodoo of Being Called Selfish

According to a survey of American women, 1/3 spend 30 minutes per day or less doing nurturing activities for themselves, while 3/4 spend up to 10 hours daily caring for others. Why do we believe we deserve less than the people we care about? Why is taking a bath, reading a book, or any self-care activity considered selfish, and therefore something we need to justify? For a lot of us, it goes back to childhood. You may have been called selfish for something you did, feeling shame and embarrassment, vowing not to put yourself ahead of others again. This led to a life of prioritizing others while you settled for whatever was left. It probably also pushed you into people-pleaser and/or rescuer mode so you would never dare be called selfish again.

When you put yourself last, your unselfish acts can build resentment. You bitch and complain because you’re depleted, but working your ass off in this way will not win you any awards. You also start to believe you don’t deserve what you want. In today’s episode, we’ll look at how selfishness itself is not the problem; it’s our relationship with it. Doing small, selfish acts that feel uncomfortable is how you start to change that relationship. Isn’t it time we stop treating “selfish” like a four-letter word and give ourselves what we need to thrive in this life?

Wakeup Statement (#wakeupstatement)
If you fear being selfish, you will always feel like you do right now.

Women and The Issue With Asking For More Money On The Job

Women are brought up to be good. Most are brought up to take care of others. Did I do a good enough job? Am I okay? This is how a woman has gotten validation for the most part. The idea of putting everyone before you and you come last makes it hard to believe someone else will find value in you. It's a feeling. The feeling of never getting there and needing someone else to say yes. A woman recently said, they offered me the job and I asked for $500.00 more a month; is that okay? What are we settling for when it comes to our fear of asking for MORE? Tune in to find out how to ask for more money on the job or in your business.