According to a survey of American women, 1/3 spend 30 minutes per day or less doing nurturing activities for themselves, while 3/4 spend up to 10 hours daily caring for others. Why do we believe we deserve less than the people we care about? Why is taking a bath, reading a book, or any self-care activity considered selfish, and therefore something we need to justify? For a lot of us, it goes back to childhood. You may have been called selfish for something you did, feeling shame and embarrassment, vowing not to put yourself ahead of others again. This led to a life of prioritizing others while you settled for whatever was left. It probably also pushed you into people-pleaser and/or rescuer mode so you would never dare be called selfish again.
When you put yourself last, your unselfish acts can build resentment. You bitch and complain because you’re depleted, but working your ass off in this way will not win you any awards. You also start to believe you don’t deserve what you want. In today’s episode, we’ll look at how selfishness itself is not the problem; it’s our relationship with it. Doing small, selfish acts that feel uncomfortable is how you start to change that relationship. Isn’t it time we stop treating “selfish” like a four-letter word and give ourselves what we need to thrive in this life?
Wakeup Statement (#wakeupstatement)
If you fear being selfish, you will always feel like you do right now.